Stroking it with a Rubber?
I’m a big fan of practicing safe sex and find the condom the
most effective (behind abstinence of course) prophylactic for practicing safe
sex. The condom is easy to use, affordable, and readily available at your
corner Walgreens. With a little practice just about anyone can feel comfortable
wearing a condom. Well maybe not as comfortable as going au naturale but with the inherent risk of an unwanted pregnancy or
chance of a sexually transmitted disease the comfort is really in the mind. The
lack of use of a condom should only be done by those individuals committed and
experienced enough to minimize the risk of unwanted pregnancies and STDs. There
is one category of condom users I just despise…those little punks who use a
condom solely for the purpose of extending their stamina. Now maybe they don’t
have enough experience to perform like Dirk Diggler or Ron Jeremy, but never
give up on a dream without first giving it your all and thrusting forward
towards that dream with all your vigor. Not there yet? Just keep thrusting at
your dream until you come to the conclusion you will or will not be a stud. On
that note, stop comparing yourself to others anyway, and just give all you’ve
got. Now is not the time to hold back. While a person who is using a condom to
prolong the activity will never actually be as good as the person who is
“naturally” stellar, it can narrow the margin and give a false pretense of
ability. Dangers of this false pretense of performance include creating a false
sense of hope or belief in the actual ability level only to knock the
individual down a few notches on the old leather belt when the deed is
performed for something worthwhile (like a momentus occasion or pregnancy
attempt). One of the best things about graduating from the ranks of horny
experimental college kids is the ability to safely and appropriately judge the
use of condoms (instead of just defaulting to wearing one all the time). Most
men would agree having sex while wearing
a condom is like taking a shower while wearing a raincoat.
I’m equally a fan of practicing safe swimming and find
wearing a wetsuit in unusually cold situations to be the best prophylactic for
preventing hypothermia and thermal shock. The wetsuit is easy to use,
affordable, and readily available at www.trisports.com
. With a little practice anyone can feel
comfortable swimming in a wetsuit. Well
maybe not as comfortable as going au
naturale, but with the inherent risk of hypothermia and thermal shock from
swimming in cold water, the comfort is really in the mind. The lack of wetsuit
use in colder water should really be
left to the professionals committed and experienced enough to avoid hypothermia
and thermal shock. There is one category of professional triathletes I just
despise…those punks who love to race in a wetsuit regardless of the
temperature because it helps them
compensate for poor swimming ability.
Now maybe they don’t have enough experience to perform like Andy Potts
or Benji Sanson, but never give up on a dream without first giving it your all
and thrusting forward towards that dream with all your vigor. Seriously, stop
comparing yourself to Benji Sanson…he has way more experience than you and will
slay the water with the ease of a hedgehog burrowing in a hole. While a person
who is using a wetsuit solely to improve his or her swim time will never
actually be as good as the swimmer who is “naturally” stellar, it can narrow
the margin and give a false pretense of ability. Dangers of this false pretense
of performance include creating a false sense of hope or belief in the actual
ability level only to knock the individual down a few notches on the old championship
belt when the deed is performed for something worthwhile (like a major or
championship race). One of the best things about graduating from the age group
to the professional ranks is the ability to safely and appropriately race in
warm water without a rubber. Most swimmers would agree wearing a wetsuit in
warm water is like having sex in the jungle with an Eskimo Parka and three
condoms. It is hot, uncomfortable, very restricting, and downright dangerous
(some guys just love how this levels the playing field).
Risks of swimming in warm water with a wetsuit include:
1.
Death
2.
Heat stroke
3.
Heat exhaustion
4.
Dehydration
5.
Overall Discomfort
6.
Lack of performance
I have four recommendations:
11) WTC
should follow suit with the ITU and USA Triathlon and amend the professional
water temperature rule to the following: wetsuit maximum temperature
for elites at 68 degrees for swim distances less than 3,000 meters and 71.6
degrees for distances of 3,000 meters or greater.
22) WTC
should also distribute condoms to all athletes opposed to this proposition and
require they wear them 90% of the time (even when trying to get pregnant and
when the situation seems overly safe).
33)
My advice to anyone who disagrees with this
resolution…practice, practice, practice and maybe one day you can build enough
stamina to perform like a stud (without your rubber). Great lovers, like great
swimmers, are made and not born. You don’t need a rubber in either instance to
perform like a stud, just some more practice.
44)
If it has been a while since you upgraded your
“rubber” I would recommend Trojan Ecstasy (in the gold wrapper) for your
intimate moments and the TYR Freak of Nature (in the silver suitcase) to bring
out your same inner freak when swimming in cold
water.
In closing, wearing a condom during sex is safe and often
necessary to prevent unwanted pregnancies and/or STDs. Wearing a wetsuit in
cold water is safe and often necessary to prevent hypothermia and/or thermal
shock. Having sex without a condom is what you do when all the stakes are on
the line and the end result is as important as the process. Swimming in warm
water without a wetsuit is what you do when all the stakes are on the line and
the end result is as important as the process each individual took to prepare
for the race. Practice safe swimming; wear a rubber only when necessary (when
the water temp is 68 or less).
Work Hard,
TJ
